National Days: the Hidden Hilarity of the Calendar

Where do these national whatever ways even come from?

Graphic by Henry Carson

Where do these national whatever ways even come from?

Alex Gaines, Staff Writer

Happy National Indian Pudding Day!

Either you’re finishing up your second bowl, or you are questioning what in the world Indian pudding even is. (It’s a “classic” New England Dessert for your pleasure on Nov. 13 made with milk, molasses and cornmeal.) Ugh! Who even eats that?

What is the deal with these national days? How are they created?

Apparently, according to an NPR article on “Market Place,” anyone can create a national day. Take “Talk like a Pirate Day,” for example (Sept. 19). ARR! Shiver-me-timbers! We missed it, Captain! A few years ago, a few random guys who loved to talk like pirates literally just declared this a national day. That was it. It’s now a real day. Or is it?

It can light up someone’s day to tell them what weird “national day” it is. If you’re feeling blue, knowing it’s “National Donut Day” may interest you (June 7). These days can change what you do day to day. Maybe you’ll buy a donut and spread the donut spirit.

Sure, we all love Thanksgiving, Halloween, Valentine’s Day and others, but sometimes the next big holiday seems pretty far away. Why not have something to celebrate every day? Even though we still have school, maybe some of these holidays will become the next big thing and develop traditions, parties, and maybe even holiday themed clothing. These holidays usually have little religiousness to them, and most can celebrate them. I mean, why not celebrate Ugly Christmas Sweater Day? I do, and enjoy being made fun of and questioned about my sweater.

Have you ever “herd” of National Milk Day, where we cows and “udder” words of celebration of milk. It’s a “whole” lot of fun. Don’t don’t “skim” it over next Jan. 11.

These days are crazy, and I will adding my own Bedford days just to see how easily these are actually going to become official.

Next year at this time, these days should be celebrated. I am declaring Jan. 18 national Jammed Locker Day! Who knows, maybe if we get enough support, this will go on the website. #lockerjamsupportsquad

Jan. 19 should be Do Your Homework on the Bus day. This will be celebrated by bus drivers who yell at people who have not done their work and then distribute pencils for each and every child.

Jan. 20 will soon follow. Get your lunch boxes ready because it’s Stampede to the Cafeteria Day. Free bags of chips are passed out to the first 10 who get from the sixth grade pod to the cafe first. Just kidding, this is actually sounding dangerous.

Jan. 21 is Stay in the Gym Locker Room Way Too Long day. Four minutes gives us enough time to get into our gym clothes and maybe go to the bathroom, button this day we stand around, talk to our friends, and not get ready. Sorry, gym teachers!

My point here is that the concept of national days is both stupid and genius. In conclusion, happy National Winnie The Pooh Day! (Friday, Jan. 18)